If Love Just Is, Why Do We Make It Mean Something?

  • Posted by Jamie|
  • on March 29th, 2015|

Being in love is such a special experience. There is not much that compares to how alive we feel when in love.

Love is such a profound feeling that we spend our lives searching for it. We seek to experience this feeling within all areas of our lives, especially relationships.

A question I found really interesting and very supportive along my own journey was: If love just is, why isn’t it always?

I had heard that phrase: “Love just is!” many times before. When I started to break that down, I found that love is everything. It’s not about the good or the bad. It’s all things in each and every moment, without judgement.

So that being the case: Why was I making love mean something? Why couldn’t I just be with what is? Why did I feel the need to seek for it, or even in the first case, believe it was something that was missing?

I realized that, by making love mean something, I had separated myself from just being. I had deluded my thoughts, my identity, into thinking love was out there. I had fallen for a great trick my mind had been playing on me.

I saw this especially within relationships. Specifically, I had one relationship which blew apart my thinking that love was something we find with another.

If there is any part of me thinking that I get love from someone, then I am limiting love itself and not realizing that love is already who I am. 

In those moments, I saw so many games I played to fool myself into making love into something I thought it should be. I did this in order to then experience feeling love. In other words, I was looking to control it. In doing so, I was making love conditional according to my rules around the human love I was seeking in another through the relationship.

So, next time you set out to change someone, judge someone, or expect them to show up differently within a relationship, just realise that if you can’t accept them for being themselves, you are then placing conditions on love itself. Love is unconditional. Don’t make it about you feeling safe in loving another.

Spend time getting to know yourself: the love in which you already are. Then, you will know that you have always been in love and that nothing is ever missing for you to be in love, even when you are not in a relationship.

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