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Is What You Think Is Working Controlling you?

  • Posted by Jamie|
  • on January 9th, 2015|

Each day is new again. Each moment is a new opportunity. But how often do we live it as though it is new?

Without even realizing it, for a large part of my life, I had subscribed to how I thought my life worked. I would wake up and begin my day according to the day before and how I thought my day should go.

I would wake up in auto pilot and go about my morning routine before going to work. I would go to a job that I enjoyed but also credited with providing for my lifestyle. Working in that job gave me security. It made me feel safe about the future ahead.

Having that job or business meant I could plan out my future and decide upon how I thought I saw my life ahead.

But if that were true, how free was I then to follow my heart? How secure would I feel if my job disappeared? More importantly, how limited would I feel if, suddenly, I didn’t feel that I wanted go to work one day?

To be honest, I realized I didn’t feel free. My freedom came from what I thought I did in my day and the money that my job brought into my life. I thought my income and the money I had gave me the freedom to live.

To be honest, I realized I didn’t feel secure. My security came from what I had going on in my life. If I had my career worked out, then I felt secure. But the thought of possibly losing it or not doing it made me feel insecure.

I realized I wasn’t free to follow what I truly felt to do and be each day. Instead, I had subscribed to my own beliefs on how my life worked. All my power was in my story. Therefore, if things weren’t in balance, I felt scared. I feared being in the unknown.

There was a reason of why I would look forward to the weekend or holidays, because during those times I truly got to be myself.

I would wake up without a plan and only do what I felt to do each day. At those times I truly felt myself, free and happy for no reason. The problem was I believed that I also had to go to work and this way of life wasn’t possible.

Its finding certainty in the uncertain that free’s us from the illusion of our story 

Today, I suppose I have reflected on this for myself. These past few weeks have been beautiful because I have been able to share time with me friends. The reason I’m able to do this is because they are on a ‘break’.

I remember when I used to look forward to my ‘break’…. But what did this mean? A break from what?

Well it was break from work. But, if I was doing what I loved, then why would I even need or use the word ‘break’? Truth was I wasn’t doing what I loved. I was working to make sure my life was working. Oh, I may have had a love for part of what I did for work. But the agenda of needing money had taken over. Therefore, I was controlled by what I did.

Soon enough, though, I got to know myself. I then realised I had placed boundaries and confinements of life upon myself in thinking I was just this identity with all the rules according to it. It was then that I decided to break free.

I decided I didn’t come here to work, or do anything because I needed to. I didn’t want to be owned by the idea or thought that what I did for work was the reason I had money in my life and therefore had freedom, security and safety.

Why would I want to do this? I wanted to do only what I felt I loved in each moment without an agenda, without limitation, as love itself is already free.

So if you find yourself resonating with this part of my journey and these realizations, then I encourage you to start peeling back the illusion. Don’t be stuck in believing life works because of what you do… Life works because you are life, you are not just this identity that would have you think you have to make your life work. Who you are is way more powerful, it would never think such small things…

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