“Why?” – A Poem By John Hall

  • Posted by Jamie|
  • on May 13th, 2015|

John Hall is a client that has discovered a beautiful way with words. In diving deeper within himself, John has found such an effortless way of expression in sharing what he feels. When he connects with the feeling that moves him, John shares some of the most moving poems I have ever read. This one I felt to share, with his permission of course, enjoy!

What you are about to read, what you are about to feel is words that arise from such a beautiful, raw, honest and true space.

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“Why?”

Why do I do what I do each day?
What is it that drives me to live my life this way?
Is it my ego that tells me what to do?
Or, am I doing what I know for me is true?

Good questions that I ask
as I sit here with my pen
What is there behind the mask
that tells me how and when?

Do I love each thing I do
or is it all just habit?
Do I control my destiny
or am I just a rabbit?

Hopping from task to task
just to keep myself so busy
that I don’t have to deal with thought
from whence all my pain is brought

My thoughts run round and round inside
this empty head of mine
In busyness I seek to hide
avoiding life, sublime

So, why do I do the things I do
that make my life so empty?
when I could do the things that count
and live a life of plenty?

Sometimes I do the things I love
and in that space I feel
the truth of who I really am
and I know that place is real

In that place of love I find
the truth behind the mask
that I am one with universal mind
and I’m up to every task

If I can sit in peace right here
being present to what I’m doing
I can feel my heart and soul
a place that’s quite renewing

If I just did the things I love
or learn to love what must be done
I’d spend my day in peace and love
as part of what is “One”

Of course the truth is eluding me
when I am just too busy
doing things from habit or need
rather than just simply “being”

Yes, if I can just be present to
whatever is going on
even when I feel my fear
breath into it, accepting

Accepting what it is I feel
not avoiding it by “doing”
Even fear can be my friend, I suspect
it tells me what I’m avoiding

I’m avoiding the truth of now
of each and every breath
which is all I really have
until I face my death

I’m not afraid of death at all
and sometimes I look forward to it
because in death I would not have to deal
with the fears I face, if I could just get through it

It’s really life I fear, not death
I’m afraid my life is worthless
because I haven’t done what I could
I’ve lived life on the surface

Rather than look underneath
the activities of my day
Appreciate the truth of my life
not let my fear hold sway

So, what can I do today
to live a life more freeing?
If I can just be present to
my present state of being

Just “being” in this moment, Yes!
Just ask myself what’s real
Just ask myself what’s going on?
What is it that I feel?

Breath into each experience
including all my fears
just sit with them a while to understand
the thoughts behind the tears

My thoughts are leading me astray
from the truth of who I’m being
Ego’s little game
believing what I’m seeing

But what I see is not the truth
No, not the truth at all
I’m looking at the outward self
rather than the sun behind each squall

Behind each cloud lies a rainbow too
Behind my fear is love
Just need to look inside to feel
connection to above

Connection to the truth of life
The simple truth of “being”
in this present moment,
yes lies the love that I’ve been fleeing

JH 10 November 2014

 

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