Why do we go searching for love when who we are is unconditional love itself? This very question has raised some great insights about which part of me is actually searching for love…

I was so accustomed to going out there and seeking for the things I thought I needed in order to feel safe, secure, or to simply feel love. From a young age, I suppose we are all taught to do this in all areas of our lives—especially in our relationships.

So, I had a list of what I thought would make the perfect partner. If a prospective partner met these requirements, I opened my heart and embraced her.

Hang on a sec! That didn’t sound so unconditional, did it?

Well it’s not! It came from the part of me that is searching outside of myself. Searching in my story, in order to feel fulfilled rather than just knowing that what is perfect for me will find me.

It’s my identity(aka ego). Because it doesn’t exist, it needs to make sure it’s controlling how I ‘find’ love.

So, instead, I(ego) went about designing and searching for a loving relationship. Geez! It sounds like I was out to find some perfect robot to fulfill my needs and agendas! Where is the fun in that, this reminds me of a great movie called Ruby Sparks

What a responsibility we then place on others. No wonder we create unrealistic expectations!

For me, life itself, these days, is all about connection. My relationships are all about feeling the connection to who I truly am and allowing myself to experience that connection through another person. If I go about making my relationship according to what I ‘think’ I need rather than trusting that ‘feeling’ which flows through me, then I am not trusting in who I truly am.

Knowing I already am that which I seek, that I already feel love and am love in this moment, I am then not coming from a place of lack. I am coming from the completeness I already am.

In the past, I have noticed how I have come from lack. It’s  obvious when I look back now. How I realized this is noticing that rather than knowing I am love. I placed power in that person. I felt needed. I felt as though that person filled a part of me.

When I found a connection to who I truly am I then realized there was nothing there to be filled. I felt the love of that which I already am.

Now, rather than loving someone from a place of need, I am starting to realize and see the ways in which I had previously given myself away. I am starting to see how I gave up a part of myself rather than knowing my true self is being expressed through another in the form of this person with whom I feel love.

This type of relationship I am describing is one that finds us. It is one in which we never had choice. Love itself is bringing us together.

It’s quite simple! If you are out there searching for love, you are in need. You are looking to fill a void. If you have conditions, if you have criteria that must be met, then your little ego is searching to be loved.

When you know you are already complete, your attention doesn’t focus on what you can gain. Rather, it simply goes on experiencing what you are: as an expression of the limitless love you already are.

So, to love unconditionally, we can never love another. We will always have conditions on something that is separate from us. Loving unconditionally is knowing the truth. Who we are is not this body. It is one energy, being expressed through this body, in another. So in truth we are always just playing with ourselves… that may sound wrong, but hey, its the truth! All I see is me: that one limitless energy.

Time to go play with myself!

 

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Tags: authentic, being, belief, connect, ego, freedom, illusion, infinite, limitlessliving, love, oneness, truth, wholehearted

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