My usual response when things in my life are not going quite right is to immediately look for a solution, fix the problem, and move on. The funny thing is: I would fix one area of my life and then another area would surface with a new issue.  I realized this was something we all do. We all look to the circumstances and try to find the best logical solution so we can make sense of what’s not right. The result is that we feel safe.

I discovered that this was one very tiring way of living. It felt like I was on one  of those treadmills in a hamster cage. I felt like I was playing a game with myself thinking that I would someday arrive at a balance. But, it was a balance only in everything external. It really did not fulfill me. The fix was only temporary.

Don’t get me wrong. Balance is important in life. But, I know I’m not here merely to find balance in my life—especially when it’s a balance in things external. It’s never really  safe as it can be taken away.

So what was I really looking for? I realized I was searching for a feeling. I wanted the feeling of security. I wanted to feel safe and know that everything would be okay.

In realizing it was a feeling I was searching for, I started to become aware of how situations, and circumstances made me feel.

At first, this was a little overwhelming. It felt like I had smashed down the wall of this massive dam. This huge surge of emotions gushed forth. I realized that, for all my life up until this moment, I had been surviving in my head, through my thinking. All I had really done was shut down and suppress my emotions.

Instead, I allowed myself to continue to express and feel what was coming up. As I did this, I started to notice how my reaction to things in my story, or my day-to-day experiences, really started to shift. People that would usually stir me or push my buttons no longer did. In fact, they seemed to disappear. Relationships I valued started to go much deeper and open up. I started to be so much more present with what I was doing and who I was being.

The biggest thing of all is that I started to feel secure and safe for no reason at all.

As I got to know myself on a deeper level and allow myself to feel connected to this present moment, I felt certainty in the uncertain. No matter what was happening in my life or story, I had found something that felt bigger than any perceived problem. That something was my true self, my infinite self that is connected to all things. I noticed that, as my feeling became able to sense this connection with all things, I stopped feeling so separated from life. I realized it was all me. I was simply creating the experience I was having from either love of fear.

Now if something comes up in my life, I never look to resolve the circumstances. I know that the story—no matter what it is—if it evokes an emotion, was something I manifested to express those emotions. I first connect to my heart, check in with my true self, and follow the feelings that arise. It’s the feeling that has become more real than anything I can see, hear, touch, smell or taste. That sense of who I am is one energy moving through all things.

So today I ask you: Where in your life have you just been reacting rather than allowing yourself to feel?

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Tags: belief, connect, Empowerment, feeling, freedom, infinite, letting go, life, limitlessliving, love, truth, waking up

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