Love doesn’t need anything; it is already whole and complete. So why do we go in search of love when, in truth, we are love itself?

This question was something I asked myself. It wasn’t something that I was trying to work out in my mind. It was something I actually felt within. After searching for what I perceived as love for so long and trying to find connection in all that I thought was love, I found no greater connection of love than the love I felt and remembered from within.

In that moment, I no longer had anything to search for. I had found my kingdom within. It wasn’t about what I could get from a relationship, but what I had to share.

Experiencing this type of love was not a fluke by any means. I had done a lot of diving into and through my own stuff. In past relationships, I had learnt to question myself rather than the relationship.

When things came up for me, I would ask these two questions:

– How do I feel about this?

– What do I need to realise within myself right now?

When you decide to  own each and every moment totally, you will meet yourself like never before.

These questions were like a mirror of my own reflection. Then realised it was not just my reflection. I was the one reflecting into the mirror.

Basically, I had to own my shit. I had nowhere to run or hide. I didn’t let my mind get involved and lose myself in my story. I didn’t need my partner to change or fix me just so I felt safe and loved; I knew that it had nothing to do with the other person.

So what does looking for love have to do with it all?

Well, when I really felt and experienced the unconditional feeling of love itself, the search for love stopped.

When it did, I realised that a lot of my previous relationships  were basically ones forged out of need. I wanted a partner to need me or appreciate me so I then felt loved. In other words, I was never in a relationship just for the pure love it!

I’m not taking away anything from my past relationships. They were perfect. Even being in need, I showed up wholeheartedly, and lovingly. I have been so grateful for the roles my partners have played. I just realized there was now a deeper, unconditional love within myself to be experienced through a relationship.

So, how do you know if your relationship is unconditional?

– You totally, and I mean totally, ACCEPT your partner for who he/she is. This means there is no need for your partner to change, be different, or become anything other than who he/she feels to be.

– You are aware that you are already feeling LOVE and are only experiencing the love you already feel through the relationship. You don’t feel incomplete without your partner because who you are being is already complete.

– There are no EXPECTATIONS whatsoever of your partner or the relationship. This means that however and whatever your partner or you yourself feel to do, you are both free to do it.

– The relationship is all about the HERE and NOW. There is no waiting for things to change or being attached to how it could look. Sometimes without knowing it, we enter into relationships with the idea that, eventually, it will bring us something. That something might be happiness, freedom, security or something you perceive to need in whatever form.

I know you may find some of this hard to comprehend. That’s just a sign that you need to work your own shit out.

If your mind can’t comprehend these points and you find yourself playing a game of confusion, stop trying to work this out. Tell your mind to shhhhhhhh…..Allow yourself to feel what’s behind your own questioning right now.

So what happens when you feel into this and find yourself ready for a conscious relationship?

Well, let me tell you where you won’t find yourself…

Someone that knows they are love is already feeling complete and whole. Hence that person probably won’t be found with an account on Tinder or any other dating site, out every weekend drinking at bars in the hope of finding someone, or asking to be set up on blind dates.

You feel complete. You won’t need someone to fill that void that was once there. Relationships can be a way to fill that void. Others keep themselves really busy with work, take drugs, use food, or other addictions to fill that void.

Usually the thought of being alone is just too confronting. Sometimes when we do stop, we feel all these things we don’t want to feel.

If we trusted ourselves enough to dive through those emotions, we probably wouldn’t create relationships and experiences that then have us feeling a version of those emotions we were trying to avoid in the first place.

To my surprise, it was diving through the emotions I was running from that led me home to the most loving and beautiful relationship with myself. Not as this body, but a knowing of myself as something so much beyond even our human words can describe. I just felt this peace, love and happiness for no reason at all.

It’s nothing but everything at the same time.

I believe that knowing I am  is what has freed me from so much I was chasing in life. It was definitely the one thing that freed me from thinking I needed someone to make me happy or to even bring love into my life.

I remember the day, the moment, when I first really felt what I’m describing. I knew, in that moment, that the relationship I was in, at the moment, would then have to reflect the love I was already feeling or it would simply melt away so I could experience a deeper, more real and profound love that I had found within.

The amazing thing was that, even if that happened, I was now free to feel the love I had always been searching for. I felt unattached for the first time in my life. I didn’t need to find that significant other because I had realized the love I already am can never be taken or given away.

I knew I had really integrated this. In my story, if I was to identify with how that relationship ended and then what followed after, I probably would have been rocked and a complete mess for years. Instead, it was like watching some crazy drama unfold on TV. You observe the story, feel it for the moments you are in it, and then you find yourself with the TV off and enjoying the next moment.

If we all took the time to truly know ourselves and find that level of connection within, the world would be such a beautiful place. We would never judge another, or be attached to thought of needing someone. We would all live for now and see ourselves in each other, ONE LOVE.

I would love to hear your comments on what I shared means for you.

If your ready to dive deeper and experience the love you already have and are, I’d love to work with you. Lets have a chat – SCHEDULE CHAT

 

 

 

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Tags: acceptance, freedom, infinite, INSPIRATION, letting go, limitlessliving, love, truth, waking up, wholehearted

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