If I could remember the moment I first opened my eyes, I believe I probably would have felt an incredible openness, freedom, and sense of possibility. Can you imagine that moment?

You would be so pure and not even have a thought about what was. You wouldn’t have any preconceived conceptions or ideas, no judgments, no attachments, no nothing!!

So present with each moment just feeling the love wanting to be expressed and experienced.

Now, can you imagine living each moment like that? Free to just be with what is: Nothing to do. Nowhere to be. Just here, in this moment.

I asked myself:

What happened to simply being in life?

How did I lose that freedom and sense of wonder without the fear of what if?

How do I arrive at that moment?

Why has life become about where I was to get to or who I was to become?

Then it dawned on me. It was like watching a movie. From the moment I was born, I assumed a role. I became the character that would play in this movie of mine called “Jamie’s Life”.

As I grew up, I started to play into my role. It became very real. I learned to be worried about my future and how to hang onto my past. It made my role seem very real. I had a great story. It fed into the moments, taking away that openness to life itself.

I learnt about who I was to become. It was based on the things I thought I needed in order to feel alive. I looked at others that seem to be playing a great role that brought them the perceived happiness, security, and freedom that I now sought. I modeled my next steps on these people in the hope I would attain what I felt they had, something that, at that time, I perceived that I lacked.

I soon found out my role was not so simple. My role would change, again and again. The other characters in my movie would also shift and change to reflect different scenes I needed to experience.

I would experience life through all of my human senses. I was to be reminded I was simply just this body in all my humanness. I had become trapped and caged in by all that I thought I was.

Although I didn’t notice it, something genuinely amazing was happening….

I had become such a good actor in my own movie that I forgot I was acting!

I was so far down the rabbit hole that who I thought I was, was built upon story after story. Furthermore, it was hard to  recognize this. I would peel back some layers. But, there were more, and more, and more of them!

I would reach a limit and continue acting. It was easier than letting go of the role I knew. Without that role, I was scared of simply being.

I realized I was scared of simply being because I had created so many different stories. They led me to believe that I had to act. If I didn’t continue the act, play my role, then my movie, my life would fall apart.

This was because I didn’t yet know myself. Hence, I would hang on for dear life to who I thought I was. I knew myself only as the character in my movie.

Eventually, though, the pain of pretending, the constant act, became so tiring. I knew that, no matter how great or extravagant my role was, or how amazing my scenes appeared to be, I was never truly free.

I was stuck, stuck in this idea of who I thought I was. Rather than truly being alive, I felt like I wasn’t truly living at all. I felt like I was enduring a slow death to no where special. I felt trapped in my movie and controlled by it.

Did I really come here to just play a role? Was I really here to  be limited by who I thought I was?

I, then, realized I had a choice: something I had forgotten about because my role became so real that I thought I was bound by it.

Soon, my questions led me back. I started to remember that I was the one who had given me this role. More importantly, I was actually writing the script to my  movie.

This was when I started to wake up. In having some awareness that I was the one writing my own script, I started to feel okay about going through the pain of letting go. I started to see myself as something so much bigger than any pain or fear I was facing.

I found there was now infinite depth to who I truly was. The deeper I went, the more I found that beautiful sense of true freedom, joy, and happiness for no reason at all.

I started to feel like I was being reborn. In doing, so I was laying down my masks. With the departure of each mask, I was becoming more authentic, real, and free. Free to simply be.

If you are sick and tired of being stuck or just fed up being someone you feel your not, I would love to support you in freeing yourself to simple be you. Schedule a chat with me here – SCHEDULE CHAT

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Tags: being, connect, ego, feeling, freedom, INSPIRATION, letting go, life, limitlessliving, truth, waking up

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