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I Can’t Pretend Anymore

  • Posted by Jamie|
  • on September 18th, 2013|

Do you ever have a feeling that seems to arise from your very soul? It almost lifts you up and out of your body. It feels as if it’s about to take you on a ride. You literally have no choice but to go along.

That feeling, for me, is my essence. It’s the love of who I truly am moving through this body.

In my life, over the past few years, I have practiced getting myself out of the way and becoming more and more familiar with this feeling. The deeper I go, the more authentic, open, and loving I feel about myself. The feeling of completeness washes through me.

These days, I feel like I am on that ride. I’ve been swept up. No matter what is happening in my story, I have become fearless in following that feeling wherever it may lead me.

This doesn’t mean that ever corner I turn is showered in pure bliss. Sometimes, it’s quite the opposite. Sometimes I’m led through the parts of me that have been suppressing that feeling.

Every time I feel I am going deeper, it’s like another part of me is peeled away. In my life, I create circumstances to bring up the fear that has been lying there upon that layer that is now to be shaved away.

That’s when my will seems to take me through the process of finding my new self again.

In the beginning of my journey, this happened a lot and felt very intense. These days, every now and then, it comes up. But, because I have created more space in my mind, I seem to move through things that were once big issues with more ease.

It’s easy, sometimes, to pretend we are our circumstances. That we are the problems we are experiencing. But, doing all that pretending is so effortful and painful.

So, today, I want to encourage you to take a breath. Sit back. Feel the love of who you are. Disconnect from your thoughts, your problems, and circumstances. Just be still enough to feel that always-constant feeling within that huge heart of yours. Take yourself home in this moment.

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